My LAST Clearance Appointment before Surgery!

I am so excited that tomorrow will be my FINAL appointment before insurance approves my surgery!

(For those who may be interested, you will have to go through a series of "Clearances" and Preoperative requirements set forth by your insurance company. It really depends through whom you are insured, but mine is pretty good and didn't require very many.)

Now,

I just want to take a little time and post about some of the things that are running through my mind right now about all of this....

I know what will happen...I am going to lose anywhere between 70-80% of my excess weight within one year of surgery, so now I am having "skinny anxiety" a little bit. By that, I mean that I cannot bring myself to pick up any clothes in smaller sizes off the clearance racks. I know some of you may say not to do that anyway because I may jinx myself, or that I may not get as small as I think - but I mean I wasn't looking at size 2's...I was looking at like size 16's. I still cannot really comprehend ever being able to fit in those.

Why am I looking at clothes right now anyway right? Well, in my mind, what I can find on clearance sales for this time next year, I try to calculate about how much weight I will have (should have) lost by that time. I want to get things cheap while I can, so be "frugal" and not have to fork out as much money later. Face it, I will be having to buy clothes at least once a month for a year. So, in a way I guess what I am doing makes sense :)

I don't know.... I just keep daydreaming about how it'll feel to go and shop for clothes and not be completely disgusted. I haven't gone to shop and go into a dressing room in over a year because I figured there was no point. I buy mostly online, because it disgusts me to even stand in front of a mirror and look at myself in clothes.

So many people who are "average" take things like this for granted, but I assure all of you that I will be doing some serious damage once I am able to wear the things that I like. :) My husband may have to supervise me lol! I will promise one thing - I will never take shopping in the "regular sizes" for granted ever again. For me, that is one of the things I look forward to the most....of course, AFTER the fact that I will FINALLY be able to jump and play with my son, take a destination trip with my husband, go to Disney World with my family, and a lot of other things that most of you wouldn't really understand (unless you are obese).

Well, for now I am signing off!

*Skinny Dreams of Skinny Jeans*

~Elizabeth